Size of His Shoes by Ted Evans

The bigger his shoes, the bigger his c***
That’s how the theory goes, but who knows if it’s true? My first experience in the bedroom was so bad that when it was over, well, let’s just say I wasn’t sure that I’d even lost my virginity. You’d think the boy I’d spent my entire childhood dreaming over would give me a better experience than that, but that’s not what happened. Then he had the nerve to ask me if it was good for me? Um, sure?
Girl, it was time to go! So that’s what I did, I grabbed my things, and I got out of Dodge.
My BFF, Gail, told me I should have looked at his shoes. Abe ‘s feet were small, so it made sense that his, ahem, tool was small too. It’s all just a blur after that, and somehow I ended up with a ring on my finger and he’s talking about babies, and inside I’m tearing apart. I’d dreamed of this my whole life, but now? No, just no, I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with this…boy. What I need is a man, a man that knows what he’s doing and how to make sure a girl is in NO doubt about whether she’d done the deed or not.
That’s why, when Gail decides to head off to the city I run away with her. Literally, I ran as fast as I could, after I told him I was only going for a week. Six months later I don’t have a job, Abe ‘s badgering me to come home, and I’ll take any job that keeps me in the city.
Enter the biggest pair of shoes I’ve ever seen on a man. Gail’s boss is having some kind of party and wants a singer. Gail, the girl that loves to hear me sing, told him I had the voice of an angel, and he agrees to let me audition. The problem is, all I can focus on are the size of his shoes. Big shoes, big…well, you know. It plays over and over in my head, and as I focus on those feet, I wonder. Is it true?
I don’t know what’s going to happen next, all I know is, I really want to find out if the saying is true or not.
And from that knowing grin, and the promise in it, I know I might just get the chance.