Petunia’s Pandemonium by Robyn Peterman

Mix one part Mermaid—one part Genie. Throw in an intoxicated God of the Sea and and a few smack-talking Pirates. What have you got?
Pandemonium.
Petunia’s Pandemonium to be more accurate.
Petunia
Letting the ocean current take me where it may for the last twenty-five years hasn’t worked out so great. So, instead of getting my tail in a knot, I’m making some swimmingly simple changes.
—Stay on Mystical Isle with my cousins who love me.
—Avenge my parents and eliminate the sea monster who’s wreaking havoc.
—Forget about the gorgeous, no-good Genie who left me at the altar… so to speak.
—Stay away from Genies until the end of time.
—Join Poseidon’s embarrassingly named online dating service for Immortals and get back into the game.
What could go wrong?
Del
I’m a Genie in a bottle baby. Or at least I was. After spending a quarter of a century, doing time for streaking at the Super Bowl after being destroyed by love, I’m a free man. It’s time to get my life together and forget about the Mermaid who didn’t want me. The list is simple.
—Stop granting wishes to idiots.
—Figure out why the Genie Star Fire Light in my eyes is burning out before I die a slow agonizing death.
—Eat an outstanding cheeseburger.
—Stay away from Mermaids.
—Join Poseidon’s embarrassingly named online dating service for Immortals and get back into the game.
It’s a plan. Not necessarily a stellar one, but it’s a plan.