Love You Again by Marian Tee

Dear Anonymous Readers,

Let’s just call him X – the first and only guy I’ve ever loved – also the first and only guy who’s broken my heart. I used to think that trauma caused by ugly breakups was only a thing in books, movies – and yes, manga – until of course it happened to me.

On hindsight, I really should have known better. He had so many issues it was only a matter of time before one of them drove us apart. And even if that hadn’t happened, we still wouldn’t have worked out. He was this perfect, gorgeous guy who had everything going for him while I…well, let’s just say I didn’t turn out to be this super-smart girl everyone thought me to be.

I hate him as much as I fear him, so much so that even in my dreams I can’t make myself think of his name, much less say it. It’s like my mind’s completely blocked the sound of it, and now his name works like a breakdown trigger. If I let myself say his name, that’s it, and believe me – what happens after isn’t pretty.

So yeah, it’s that bad between us, but I’m determined to put it all behind me now. I’ve moved to another country, doing my best to get my shite together. I’ve even made myself attend a goukon (a group dating thing) in hopes of finding love again.

Everything’s going well…

Until I bumped into him.

X.

Bloody. Bloody. Bloody hell.

The sight of him has my world spinning out of its axis, my face draining of color, my throat locking oxygen out—

I can’t remember feeling more terrified than I was at that moment. But the worst thing is – I can’t remember when the last time I felt so alive either.