If It’s Not You by Zarah Bentley

The easiest way to get someone’s attention is to stop wanting it.

Rahel was five when she met eight-year-old Janosh, and fourteen when she realized she loved him as more than a stepbrother—talk about a poisoned apple.
After three bittersweet years of secret craving and tantalizing closeness, Rahel decides she’s had enough. Aided by her mischievous duo of best friends, liquid courage, and a set of lovingly drawn penises, she makes a plan: stop revolving around him. Finish school with the kind of kick-ass grades that will get her into medicine, find a job that keeps her out of the house when he’s visiting, flirt, and hopefully, eventually, fall for someone real.

There’s just one snag: Janosh’s utter reluctance to allow for any kind of distance between them.