Hoofin’ It by R.J. Blain

2017

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Author:	R.J. Blain
Genre:	Paranormal Romance
File Name:	hoofin-it-by-r-j-blain.epub
Original Title:	Hoofin' It: A Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count)
Creator:	R.J. Blain
Language:	en
Identifier:	MOBI-ASIN:B075JGPRR5
Publisher:	Pen & Page Publishing
Date:	1504981800
File Size:	543125.504

All Shane wanted was to get away from the wreckage of his career for a while. He picked New York City to provide him with a distraction from his early, unwanted retirement from the police force.

New York City delivered, distracting him with three corpses and a miniature llama with a spitting problem and an attitude. If he wants to return to a normal life, he’ll have to face off against a sex trafficking ring targeting the woman of his dreams, ancient vampires, murderous criminals, his parents, and an FBI agent with a hidden agenda.

Some days, it isn’t easy being an ex-cop.

Warning: This novel contains excessive humor, action, excitement, adventure, magic, romance, and bodies. Proceed with caution.

Table of Content

1. Title Page
2. Copyright
3. Contents
4. Dedication
5. 1. The next time I took a vacation, I’d just stay home.
6. 2. Waking up with an alpaca using me as a pillow wasn’t my idea of a good time.
7. 3. Did Dad’s fur grow back?
8. 4. Concussions sucked.
9. 5. When my mother smiled like that, she was preparing to cause a lot of trouble for someone.
10. 6. I’m pretty sure they mugged someone for a motorcycle and went on a joy ride.
11. 7. How did he always know when I was contemplating something illegal?
12. 8. Don’t break the hotel, Dad.
13. 9. In her shoes, I’d be tense, too.
14. 10. If you ever call me Sally again, I’ll kill you.
15. 11. In my defense, I had no idea it was that sort of nightclub.
16. 12. Go to bed before you bite someone.
17. 13. It keeps the prisoners from staging an escape.
18. 14. You look like hell.
19. 15. More insurance issues?
20. 16. What started as an insurance fraud case became a circus.
21. 17. Someone likes you a lot, buddy.
22. 18. They’re supposed to start?
23. 19. You’re taking me into a brothel, aren’t you?
24. 20. Do I need to shoot you in the kneecap again, Ernesto?
25. 21. I can’t believe you’re friends with them.
26. 22. Let me count the number of speeding tickets I’ve written you over the years.
27. 23. Can’t a man visit his son?
28. 24. She loves me almost as much as you do, dear boy.
29. 25. You’re going to make me wear suits for the rest of my life, aren’t you?
30. 26. Do yourself a favor. Don’t fall in.
31. 27. My eyes are up here, Shane.
32. 28. I’m supposed to drink this?
33. 29. I rode a demented slinky with an attitude problem.
34. 30. Don’t you lecture me, you scrawny pipsqueak!
35. 31. Is there a reason you threw our son across the room?
36. 32. Whatever she was, she scared the piss out of the staff.
37. 33. You’re as bad as a pissy cat.
38. 34. Humans—even ones who are almost not—are so curious.
39. 35. Is that what they call it nowadays?
40. 36. This woman sure knows how to pack on the muscle, doesn’t she?
41. 37. You love me. You truly love me.
42. 38. Someone had watched too many war movies.
43. 39. It didn’t feel like a scratch, did it?
44. 40. Don’t worry about being graceful.
45. 41. Fancy meeting you here.
46. 42. Just in time for the fun.
47. About R.J. Blain
48. Chapter One of Blood Bound: A Lowrance Vampires Novel
49. The Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count) Reading Order