Battle Won by Erin Raegan

Enslaved by aliens.
(Cue the dramatic jazz hands.)
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. I saw it coming a mile away too. Doesn’t change the fact that here I am, sharing a cage with my fellow human peers—my smelly, crybaby, annoying female peers.
You can sit at home and roll your eyes at just how predictable this story has already become or you can hear me out.
—Earth destroyed by evil carnivorous(shudder)aliens—check.
—Humans then saved by not as frightening but still visually alarming (think cats and a vat of radioactive ooze) do-gooder aliens—check.
—Do-gooder aliens loaded up surviving humans to whisk them away to some fanciful far away planet so they can live out the rest of their traumatized lives in somewhat safety and peace. Check.
Well…kind of.
I made it on the ship. I lived on the ship zipping through space. Then the do-gooder aliens got their asses handed to them by pirate slavers and said pirate slavers snatched us physically inferior humans right out from under the radioactive cats’ noses and tossed us in cages delivered straight to alien slave auctions.
Hungry, smelly, thirsty, and sunburned like you would not believe, I was finally bought. (I feel I need to stress the smell…I was peed on. It was not fun.)
This is the part in the story that’ll veer right off the predictable train and land me smack dab in the middle of Crazyville.